I regret nothing.

I wish I'd gone on that boat.
I wish I hadn't return home from that trip.
I wish I'd stayed there, got a job, found some crappy bedroom to rent for a fortune but still, I wish I'd stayed.
I wish I'd stayed and started it all over. Got a new name, stuck with my old face. New outfits ironically black for I would be mourning home.
I wish I'd caught that train to Berlin. Or that one bus to Paris.
Me and my typewriter facing the world together.
I wish I wasn't sick so I wouldn't need any money for meds, only food and water. I would easily sort out a roof and clean sheets.
I wish I hadn't came back home with an empty heart.
I wish I'd gave it all that one time I was asked to do so.
I wish I hadn't stop listening music during those epic 3 months.
I wish I had caught that ride to Lisbon and had meet you there. No hard feelings, no regrets.
I wish I wasn't feeling this misguided. People don't feel blue, they feel sad and awfully wrong, but not blue. There's not such thing as feeling blue. We do not feel red, yellow, we don't feel as colours at all. Period. Colour don't even exist materially. We see that jacket black because our brain tricks us into it.
I wonder, in whatelse does our brain trick us aswell?
It must tricks us a lot for he always bails out without a scratch. If I'd the power to do that, I'd be tricking all the time myself.
I wish I could trick myself into loving. Into stop missing.
Now.
I wish I'd just had made that backpack and left, that day, when I had the chance.
Only three months ago and it seems it is already a lifetime behind me.
People never seem to remember as much I do. They pass on the street and not even say hi, when I clearly remember those creepy nights of first joints and first beers. Together. Exchanging saliva and thoughts. Together.
I wonder what the fuck my looks tell about me. They must not tell much for people keep comparing me to a sweet naive doll. The resemblance between me and a doll ends at the mouth. I open my own to many times to be called "a doll".
Bar's closing, got to go.
I wish I'd feel like back at home, but I don't. I feel like a voyeur messing up with their life's.


Greetings from IwishLand.
They say tomorrow world will end. I wish it doesn't.
I want to go to Seattle.